5 Reasons Why Unconditional Love Is More Myth Than Reality

Surat: Ah, yes, the eternal lament:  ‘Men are only loved if they provide.’ Said so often, it would apply for emotional royalties by now. It sounds appealing, most definitely—like a TikHub thought piece wrapped in a baritone voice and a grayscale filter. But as with all appealing one-liners, it begins to fall apart the moment you pull at its reasoning.

Let’s be honest: lots of men are expected to provide—financially, physically, and sometimes heroically (because it takes testosterone to fix Wi-Fi). But does that make men the sole possessors of conditional love? Not exactly. That would be akin to saying only giraffes have necks.

The reality is, conditional love is not a male condition. It’s a human condition—bundled in layers of culture, societal conditioning, and just the right dash of emotional blackmail.

Let’s discuss women, shall we?

Men are instructed, “You must earn, protect, and provide.” Women are instructed, “You must be beautiful, young, docile, fertile, and for the love of patriarchy, don’t ever think too loudly.” You think men are constrained by expectations? Try being evaluated based on your complexion in matrimonial advertisements. Not your CV. Not your ambitions. Your skin tone. “Wanted: fair, convent-educated, homely, preferably goddess-level domestic.”

So yes, men are supposed to be wallets. But women? Women are supposed to be walking PR managers of family honour, event planners, babysitters, emotional support humans, and master chefs—often while holding full-time jobs.

And before we add kids into the equation, let’s remember: most are loved… until they cease to check parental boxes. Love gets commodified in exchange for obedience. “Become a doctor or you’ll break our heart,” “Marriage to whom we want, or you’re selfish.” It’s more of a conditional scholarship than a relationship.

But hold up, what about dogs?

Everybody’s go-to example of unabiding love. Man’s best friend. Loyal. Non-judgmental. Always happy to see you—unless, of course, they have trauma, or weren’t trained properly, or bite visitors at every dinner party. Then suddenly, even dogs are at the whim of “behavioral expectations.”

So, where are we? In a world in which unconditional love is valuable exactly because it’s in short supply. It’s not gendered. It’s not doled out like mithai at a wedding. It’s gained through persistent respect, trust, and (brace for impact) emotional maturity.

“But doesn’t whoever loves you put up with you for good?”

Well, here’s the joke: putting up with someone isn’t love. It’s living together with special effort. You’re not a roommate who has wonderful internet connectivity—you’re a human being in a relationship. If someone sticks around just to suffer through you like a Monday morning, you may need to redefine what love means to you.

Because true love doesn’t utter, “I’ll love you if you earn six figures.” Nor does it utter, “I’ll love you only if you stay young forever.” True love utters, “I’ll love you even if you forget the milk, but I’ll also ask you to grow, to communicate, and to contribute to this relationship.”

So, then, is unconditional love a myth?

Not quite. It happens—but it’s uncommon, holy, and takes the kind of emotional intelligence that doesn’t typically translate to social media bites. Most of us love conditionally, because human beings are human. And humans? Well, they have expectations. The point is not to pretend one gender has a monopoly on pain or conditionality.

Love is not blind, but it could use a pair of better glasses. One that can look beyond stereotypes and recall that being human, not being a provider or a beauty queen, is the only real requirement for affection worth possessing.

Also Read: Gender-Neutral Laws Are Great

<p>The post 5 Reasons Why Unconditional Love Is More Myth Than Reality first appeared on Hello Entrepreneurs.</p>